HOW TO SPEND TWO MINUTES ON YOUR ART AND GET AN A!

Hi there!

Ever dreamt of being a great painter? An reknowned artist?
Ever wondered if you could make it big?
Or.. have you, like me, always been barely-passing that darned subject?
Wanna know how to spend two minutes on your art and
convince your art teacher that it's museum-worthy?
Well, look no further!
And wipe that dubios frown of that pretty face!
Boy, have I got a deal for YOU!


I took a few photographs when I was in the MET,
aka the METropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
As in, one of the top museums in the world.
I remember being a complete flop in Art in high school.
It was seriously my least-liked 2 hours each week, for the full 5 years.
I could never draw a human face ONE tiny bit convincingly.
Painting neatly within the lines was difficult (can you imagine?),
and painting in "layers" or in "tones" always turned out a mess.

And so, when I was in the modern Art section in the MET.
Boy, was I ..
Okay.
Let you see the pictures and you can fill in the blank above.

HOW TO SPEND TWO MINUTES ON YOUR ART,
GET IT FRAMED AND PUT UP FOR THE WORLD TO SEE
IN ONE OF THE GRANDEST MUSEUMS IN THE WORLD.

Idea 1: Draw two circles and paint them black.
Potential Difficulty: You might get all excited and draw more than two ball- circles i mean.
Overcome by: Control, dude, control. Two's enough.


Idea 2: Paint the background yellow, then paint two strips, one white, one red.
Potential Difficulty: You might just run out of yellow paint.
Overcome by: Idea! Tape a few pages from the Yellow pages together and use that instead of the usual drawing-block! Save time AND save paint.



Idea 3: Paint the whole bluhdy thing blue.
Potential Difficulty: You might get bored. If you're using the 2cm size brushes.
Overcome by: Get a bigger paintbrush, can.

Idea 4: Paint two blue strips.
Potential difficulty: You might finish that in one minute and be at loss as to what to do for the next.
Overcome by: Paint two. Sell the second one off through eBay. Confirm some kok will buy wan.

All these are hanging in the MET by the way.
"....like huh?" y-uh.
But if you can create a masterpiece (see below), then that's another story.
This one was just ... awe-some.

Okie, sneak preview. Nice, Nice?
Cannot tell what that is?
Okie, yeah, it's a potrait.
Nothing special?
Look closely.
IT'S MADE UP OF DOTS.

*pause*
Do you get it? k, see again. Close-up.






Not convinced?
Here we go..




AHHH. talented yes?
amazing.

Random collage of photos taken at the MET.
The black-&-whites are mostly the building itself, from the outside, and the inside.
Some are artefacts, such as the mummy-tomband the Buddha tiles.
The rest are paintings.. thought the colours lined along one whole wall was nice.
It was a marvellous 3 hours in there.